2WW, TMI, & TRIGS

This cycle has been kinda hard for me to read. Normally when I'm about to O, I have an abunance of CM for me to look at, but DH and I have been doing quite a bit of BDing (and some FDing) this cycle so I'm not sure if that has anything to do with it. I only had two days of watery and one possibly EWCM day, but I started checking my cervix this cycle (since I can't temp) as well and it was HSO on two of those three days, so I guess I can say that I did O on Sunday.
My DH keeps telling me that he has a feeling that this cycle is it and to be honest, I've stopped truly hoping a long time ago - that is why we are going to stop trying for a while in September. I'm not depressed or anything, but I think the word for the way I'm feeling right now is hopelessness. I hate that I feel this way, but I do.




******************************
TRIGS - Below
******************************


This cycle is really hard for me to have any hope. I never had the chance to tell you ladies about my SIL. She is one of those lucky ladies who one day decided to have a baby and 2 months later she was PG. So after my nephew was born, she went on BC until 11 weeks ago. 7 weeks after she stopped BC, she began complaining to me about her "infertility" (yes, she knows all about my struggles) - I didn't say anything to her but it had hurt me greatly. Two weeks later she finds out that she is 7 weeks PG and was PG at the time she was complaining... She informed me in a way that wasn't very considerate and so my heart was broken a second time. Sunday (the day I Oed) she had a miscarriage. My heart breaks for her because I totally understand what she's going through and I feel like a terrible person because I had some hurtful feelings toward her until about a week ago. So it's really hard for me to have any hope or to even feel anything positive about this cycle.